Since I have no new research findings to report today, I thought I'd discuss the topic of the unsolicited advice we singletons often get from happy-couple people and how it drives me NUTS. I know the intention is to be helpful and supportive, but sometimes it can be a little annoying.
You know what I'm talking about right? It never fails, when you are attending an event, dinner, party, wedding (don't even get me started on this one!), whatever the gathering, there is always someone that feels the need to give you advice on how to find Mr. Right (only after inquiring about how "single life" is these days and cringing at the thought of themselves being single again.......) *See Happy-Couple-People note.
I will list just a few of my favorites and why they ANNOY me.
1. "You have to be open to it, if you are not really open, it won't happen". What the hell does that mean? Other than wearing a name badge that reads Hello, I am single and open (which could be interpreted VERY differently by men), how much more open can I be? I have a lot of friends and get out a lot, so I'm not sitting home expecting some hottie to ring by doorbell and ask me out (btw-food delivery men are NOT generally hotties). I consider myself friendly and I will speak to people I encounter, but I just do not understand this concept of being "open".
2. "You have to do things you are passionate about and you will meet someone that way". So let's see, I volunteered to work a few breast cancer walks. Guess what? ALL WOMEN at these walks. Granted, I felt good to help a good cause, but not going to meet men at these types of venues. Volunteer for an animal shelter you say? Guess what? Cute couples coming to pick out a new family pet or a new pet for their first apartment together. How sweet. Although I will say that I have not given up on this idea, it has not proven fruitful to date.
3. "Don't you have friends that can introduce you to people or your friend's husbands, they must have friends right?" Gee, thanks for the groundbreaking idea of getting referrals, I would have NEVER thought of this. Don't you think that I haven't already hit up every friend's husband for a handsome brother or cousin or sports team member or co-worker? Of course they all assure me I am #1 on their list of referrals should anyone become available due to break-up or untimely death (after a suitable mourning period of course-I'm not that cold-hearted!)
4. And my all-time favorite: "When you STOP looking, it will just happen". FALSE. I know from personal experience that this is not true. When I got divorced, I decided that I was going to take some time off from dating and not actively "look". After 3 years of NOT looking, I netted ZERO prospects. In the meantime I gained 10lbs from eating Ben & Jerry's while watching romantic comedies on pay-per-view every weekend. Obviously that has not helped my cause since I decided to start actively looking again. Now I'm just 3 years older and 3 inches wider!
So word to the wise for happy-couple people: Believe me, you will be the FIRST to hear me brag about any potential hotties, share the scoop on any recent dates or promising candidates I've just met. You don't need to ask every time I see you. And while your advice is coming from a good place, keep those words of wisdom for a time when I come crying to you and need reassurance that there's still hope!
*Happy-Couple People Note: Please do not make comments such as "I just don't know how you do it, being single these days", or "I am just so glad my single days are over..". Instead just poor salt in the wound directly. It will feel better to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment